In May last year, The Thoughtline presented a real-life love story experience that transpired between my good friend Kit, and his beloved queen, Xael. Their first story ended with a brutal heartbreak that attracted poignant remarks from our readers. In agreement with the happy ending in the sequel of their love story, The Thoughtline algorithm pointed that all of our readers were relieved and happy for Kit for the beautiful ending. It seemed that everyone understood pain hence no one would like other people to go through the ordeal. I suppose each one of us has gone through pain at some point in life. No wonder we keep our eyes glued on the screen watching movies hoping for a happily ever after. Not to mention my favourite childhood storybooks, that managed to snatch my ear-to-ear smiles with a happy ending.
You see, going through the comments had me reminiscing of my rough batch back in the day. I was going through an epic heartbreak that I was unable to focus on my job. The hurt trickled down to hurt the people that mattered to me. At that particular moment, my spirit was broken, risking my identity, confidence and self-worth in the process. In pursuit of soothing and solace, I started reading self-help books that would empower me with knowledge and consequently improve my writing skills. It was while exploring books to read on Amazon that I jerked into a book titled ‘love yourself as if your life depends on it’ by Kamal Ravikant, thanks to Alexa.
As I read the book, I felt sorry for Kamal’s heartbreak experience. I thought it was worse than what I had experienced. Unlike many, Kamal vowed to love himself, treat himself as someone he loves truly and deeply – in his thoughts, actions, choices and experiences. Kamal’s decision to love himself transformed his life. He shined in all aspects of life; health, relationship and business. Everything fell back to rhythmical balance. Above all, by sharing his story, he has changed the lives of many broken souls across the globe. This is evident from the many blogs that have been written to review his books and testimonials from ardent readers
My greatest lesson from this book is that the only way to success is by loving thyself. I remember loyally listening to motivational speakers on YouTube every morning, going to church, reading self-help books and attending seminars. My broken moment took so long because I focussed on the outside rather than within me. All along, the best solution to that pain was to love me. But loving yourself is not a walk in the park. Nonetheless, Kamal’s written experience equipped me with a series of techniques and practices that he used to achieve his ultimate goal of loving himself.
Kamal helped me understand that loving myself implies acknowledging that I’m exceptional, distinct and wonderfully made by God. It means working hard to make money but never allowing that money to use you. Loving yourself is to help and motivate others. Loving yourself means gathering knowledge through reading and sharing it. Loving yourself makes you a stronger person to elevate yourself to become a better person. Loving yourself means ignoring pressure from social media. By loving myself, I was able to recognize people who loved me for the person I am. Because I exist, I am highly favoured and blessed by my God hence I must shine.
One of my best motivational speakers (fearless motivation) reminds me every morning that I am not in existence to sip apple martinis on the beach and get myself a killer tan. Fearless motivation bellows that the enemy outside could do you no harm when there is no enemy within. What if I refuse to allow any doubts in my mind? No doubts from others will ever cloud my judgement. If I create a healthy mind, no one will defeat me with their underbaked words and conclusions. Such words work magic, but still my most powerful lesson was taught by Kamal: I can only glisten if I love myself.
Ever wondered why Paul the apostle wrote the most excellent message about love in the book of Corinthians? He said that even if I speak in the tongues of men or angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the prophecy gift and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge and have a faith that can move mountains, but I do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. The good word of God goes on and says that love is patient and kind. It does not envy nor boast. It’s not proud, rude, self-seeking, easily angered and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. If you love someone, you will cross oceans for them. Can you imagine if you loved yourself? That is where the magic lies.
In his follow up book Live your truth, Kamal equally delivered timeless lessons. He taught me that no one stumbles accidentally into an amazing life. It takes a conscious commitment to figuring what you stand for – finding your truth. It begins by looking inside yourself because when it rises from within you, you have no choice but to express it and ultimately live it. This, when the magic happens, fulfilment, happiness, relationships and success become a part of you. Kamal is a great man because he will tell you how to get it right by loving yourself truly and genuinely.
As a way of adding a block of icing to the cake, a good friend of mine, Allan Kisanya, once told me that many of us go through heartbreaks because we haven’t accepted ourselves. If you accept yourself, you will know the people to keep in your life. Most men lie when courting girls because they want to attach themselves to a particular class. My key takes away is that accepting myself will make me shine in my career and I will be able to discern people worth keeping in my life. Also, remember you can only accept yourself if you love yourself. As Kamal has said, look into that mirror and say to yourself I love myself eleven times before hitting the road.
Loving yourself will make you a star. There will be nothing impossible you can’t achieve. I have told Brian Cheye several times that we can own our TRM as long as we choose to love ourselves and focus. Therefore, today as I rest my pen, I proclaim that I love myself. As I face my bathroom mirror every morning, I repeat these words eleven times before working on my PhD thesis. This is my routine every morning. I love myself. Do you love yourself?